Seeing the bigger picture!!
It seems like parents in general can get stuck in the here and now with their kids... I do this all the time!!!!!! Not wanting to make a scene, or you're just too tired to deal with the issue at this moment... or you figure, I'll work on that later... or you think, they're just being cute when they tell me what to do... But should we really be thinking these things?!?! NOW is when we will make a lasting influence. As an example of what happened to us recently.. we asked one of our children to help us with something, and they whined/complained/had an attitude, so we told them to go wait for us somewhere else... and off they went.. crying all over the place. And immediately your mind thinks, oh I was too harsh, I need to go comfort them... but WHEN did it become the acceptable way to parent by keeping your children from learning lessons? When did parents start putting their childs emotions and feelings before them learning about hard work and doing what they have been told without complaint!
Our child cried for a while, then came back and apologized. Lesson learned! And if it happens again, we'll do just what we did the first time to help establish a good rooting place for that lesson learned to grow. But in that very moment, we did not teach our child that if they complain and whine, that they get their way! That is the crucial lesson!
And here is the basis of seeing the bigger picture for your children! It's not just here and now... they complain, they get their way, and it's done. No! These children are going to grow up! They are one day going to be teenagers and then out in the world by themselves... Imagine what life will be like for us parents then, when these kids have learned to "manipulate" us! Or when they can tell US what to do! Our generation of kids need to learn some valuable lessons of obedience and respect before they are out on their own and they learn it some other way OR they make our lives miserable while we reap the consequences of what our children have learned from us!
I believe as parents, that is our job! It's not just a fleeting moment in time that we can stuff under the bed and forget about it! It's right here smacking us in the face! Think of the bigger picture! I think it's crazy when I complain or hear parents complaining about how they can't do something because their kids will act up or get out of control. Let's take back the role we have as parents! * Now understand that I know about stages of children.. I know that you can't just put your foot down and all will be well. (if it were that easy, then we'd all have 10 kids each!! haa haa) I am FULLY aware of the work that goes into "teaching" your child the right way to live... * But I am also FULLY aware of the benefits that you will reap in the long run when you are diligent about giving your child good values to live off of!!!
Character is defined as: traits that form the individual nature of a person / having moral or ethical quality / one such feature or trait; characteristic / (and my favorite) Qualities of honest, courage, or the like; integrity!
Wouldn't the world be a better place if all our children grew up with qualities of honesty, courage, and integrity? How will they reach a place of being able to showcase those standards if we don't instill them at a young age? We can't let time pass, and think "I'll do it tomorrow"... because time flies, and our children will grow up, and it will come when our teaching has run it's course.
So, I'm going to go ahead and make the decision now to step out of my comfort zone, not to worry about what others think of me... and correct my children when they need correcting! I'm going to show my children that our "rules" are more important then what other people are thinking. I'm not going to worry about if others think I'm strict. I'm going to put the bigger picture first above the here and now.
It is widely known that boundaries are the foundation for raising a well-mannered and confident child that will grow into a well-mannered and confident adult!!! Let's make that our mantra! Let's show our children that we care enough to do the very best for them! Not that we just want to make them happy in the moment.. but we have their future in our very best interest!
The book of proverbs is one of my favorite in the Bible. When I don't know what to read, I normally start off there. It is just full of advice and wisdom. The purpose of the book is to "teach people to attain wisdom, discipline, and a prudent life, and how to do what is just and fair". Discipline being a main word used in proverbs - is defined by correction; and training to act in accordance with rules. Wow!
I'll end this little writing with a few of my favorite verses on parenting.
(From the Message Bible)
"Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."
Proverbs 22:6
"Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad."
Proverbs 29:17
"To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child."
Proverbs 29:15
Proverbs 22:6
"Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad."
Proverbs 29:17
"To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child."
Proverbs 29:15
5 comments:
Well said Sarah! I know it is much easier to create the right behavior first then to correct it.. oo but can it be tiring :-P. Thanks for the boost of confidence :-)
amen and amen. I know what you mean...I have been thinking so much about this too. It is easier to wait, but like you said, we can't! Thank you again for sharing. It echos my heart too. thank you!
I think this is an awesome post. Like one out of a parenting book. You definitely reap what you sow and what better things to reap than obedience and respect from our children in the later years! Letting them maniulate you sets them up for failure later on in life. They will not be able to manipulate their bosses into getting and extra week off a year for vacation or their mortgage company so they don't have to pay their monthly bill for a few months. By instilling in them now that yes getting what you want is awesome, it is self control, motivation, perseverence and obedience which pays off in the lond run! It's nice to know someone else gives tough love as well!!!
Preach it Sista!
It helps me to think, "What would this look like in 20 years?" (it is a much more painful lesson to learn as an adult)
It's like a shot, painful in the short-run, but MUCH easier than the full blown disease.
I agree completely! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
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